I love you, don't ever fucking question that,

Lyrics, lyrics, lyrics.

2009-01-15T20:22:52Z

This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know, when it shows up, make sure you're holding on
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, ohhh

Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know their not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Happy 4th of July!

2007-07-04T21:39:54Z

I watched the flag pass by one day,
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
And then he stood at ease..

I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud,
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He'd stand out in any crowd.

I thought how many men like him
Had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?

How many pilots' planes shot down?
How many died at sea?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, freedom isn't free.

I heard the sound of Taps one night,
When everything was still,
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.

I wondered just how many times
That Taps had meant "Amen,"
When a flag had draped a coffin,
Of a brother or a friend.

I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.

I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, freedom isn't free.

OPENING NIGHT!

2007-04-20T16:15:55Z

Peter Pan @ Tri-C West

April 20, 21, 26, 27 and 28 at 8 p.m.
April 22 and 29 at 3 p.m.,

Based upon the book by J.M. Barrie with music by Jule Styne and lyrics by Betty Comden and Adolph Green, Peter Pan, which includes such classic songs as "I’m Gonna Crow" and "I Won’t Grow Up," takes audience members on a magical journey to Neverland. With the aid of the loyal Tinkerbelle, Peter rescues Wendy, Peter, Michael, John and the Lost Boys from Captain Hook. He might even rescue the audience from the worst possible villain: adulthood.

Directed by Scott Posey and musically directed by Kira Seaton, flying for Peter Pan is provided by “Flying by Foy.”

General admission tickets are $10 each. Student, senior and Tri-C staff tickets are $8 each. Admission is free for Tri-C students with a valid Tri-C ID.

For more information and for ticket reservations, call the Western Campus Box Office at (216) 987-5536.

The Everything Test!

2007-04-06T06:44:46Z

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality

You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more atheist than religious, more dependent than loner, more workaholic than lazy, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are adventurious (100%), romantic (86%), slutty (71%), innovative (64%).

Stereotypes
Punk Rock	93%
College Student	73%
Prep	69%

Life Experience
Sex	29%
Substances	14%
Travel	18%

Politics
Your political views would best be described as Socialist, whom you agree with around 67% of the time.

Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Working Class. You make more than 43% of those who have taken this test, and 84% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 60%, hotter than 48% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

My Hitman Name :)

2007-03-12T16:41:46Z

Dry Duck
People Iced:	Thirty Six
Car Bombs Planted:	Eight
Favorite Weapon	A Cleaver
Arms Broken:	Eleven
Eyes Gouged:	Twenty Two
Tongues Cut Off:	Twelve
Biggest Enemy:	Charlie Lucky
Get Your HITMAN Name AWSOME-GAME

Disgruntled Donny
People Iced:	Forty Four
Car Bombs Planted:	Five
Favorite Weapon	Curdled Milk
Arms Broken:	Twenty Two
Eyes Gouged:	Three
Tongues Cut Off:	Six
Biggest Enemy:	Big Pauly
Get Your HITMAN Name AWSOME-GAME

The Black Angel
People Iced:	Forty Three
Car Bombs Planted:	None. Pathetic.
Favorite Weapon	A Candlestick
Arms Broken:	Fourteen
Eyes Gouged:	Twenty Seven
Tongues Cut Off:	One
Biggest Enemy:	Ruprick
Get Your HITMAN Name AWSOME-GAME

Jack Hammer
People Iced:	Thirty Four
Car Bombs Planted:	None. Pathetic.
Favorite Weapon	A Cleaver
Arms Broken:	Four
Eyes Gouged:	Sixteen
Tongues Cut Off:	Ten
Biggest Enemy:	Fire Crotch
Get Your HITMAN Name AWSOME-GAME

RIP

2007-03-11T18:06:05Z

"Do You Hear Me"

Are you looking down on me right now
I feel your presence beam down
Watching you get ill it changed our lives
Your hand went limp and we cried
I didn't realize you had to go
Emotionless overflow
I wish I had the chance to tell you
I'm so sorry...

Do you here me
Praying to you x2 [where can I find you
I'm thinking of you darling, darling, darling]

I know that you are in a better place
Somewhere you can escape
I'm looking for a sign from up above
That you still care and have love
I was really young and didn't know
I wish I had the chance to tell you
I'm so sorry

Work harder for nothing
To come up I'm fading
Work harder for nothing at all
To find you you're nowhere

Happy Birthday Grandma. Would have been 77 years. RIP, we miss you!

I'm Stoopid!

2007-03-07T14:32:27Z

A Clevelander is sent to Hell...

2007-03-01T17:39:26Z

A guy from Cleveland dies and is sent to Hell. He had been a wicked, horrible man his entire life. The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. To make it worse, he cranks up the temperature and the humidity. After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as the Clevelander is happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune. The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't understand this. I've turned the heat way up, it's humid, and you're crushing rocks; why are you so happy?" The Clevelander with a big smile, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in Cleveland . Hot, humid, a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"

The devil, then extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the Clevelander remarks. Then he decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving rain and torrential wind. Soon, Hell is a wet, muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with rain blowing into his eyes, the Clevelander is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks. Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions. The Clevelander replies, "This is great! Just like April in Cleveland . It reminds me of home, doing yard work and gardening on the Northcoast!"

The devil is now completely baffled but more determined to make the Clevelander suffer. He makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly Hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that this will surely make the Clevelander unhappy, the devil checks in on him. He is again aghast at what he sees. The Clevelander is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee. "How can you be so happy? Don't you know its 40 below zero?" screams the devil. Jumping up and down, the Clevelander throws a snowball at the devil and yells, "Hell's frozen over! This means the Browns finally won the Super Bowl!"

Cleveland: Beautiful in it's Self-Defeated Sense of Pride.

I promise...

2007-02-01T16:09:59Z

♥I promise you my love♥

♥I promise you my heart♥

♥I promise you my life♥

♥I promise we'll never be apart♥

♥I promise not to hurt you♥

♥I promise to never make you cry♥

♥I promise to always trust you♥

♥I promise not to lie♥

♥I promise you forever♥

♥I promise you tonight♥

♥I promise you my respect♥

♥I promise to do things right♥

♥I promise to always be there♥

♥I promise until the end♥

♥I promise to always love you♥

♥I promise to be your best friend♥

♥I promise you my love♥

♥I promise you my life♥

♥I promise this forever♥

♥I promise our friendship is my life♥

Ugh...

2007-01-25T05:32:12Z

I feel like crap.

I'm as sick as a dog.

This is going to be the death of me.

Ugh. I feel like I want to die.

I hate being sick.

I'm done.

This is a long 'I hate life' entry...

2006-12-26T16:08:22Z

I just can't believe how much life sucks right now.

Like seriously, I don't know if there is anything that could make me feel worse than I do right now.

I'm constantly puking, I can't eat anything because I'll puke it right back up. I can't sleep. When I do sleep it's only for half an hour to and hour at a time. My whole body aches, inside and out. Hold that though, I gotta go puke again.

Ok, I'm back.

I think this is the most serious depression I've ever been in. I don't know if I can make it out alive. I'm not sure if I even want to make it out alive.

The morning's and the night time's are the most difficult. I don't feel like doing much of anything at all. I don't know why. I don't feel like seeing anyone. I don't really feel like talking to anyone. I just wish this would go away quickly so I can get on with my originally pathetic life. It's even more pathetic now than it was before.

Sometimes I just feel like going out to the cemetary and just sitting there beside my grandmother. For some reason, I feel at peace out there.

I just don't know anymore. I think I might take AJ's idea about writing things down in a journal. Which is kind of what I'm doing. I'm thinking more of a personal journal. Ways I feel, I felt, just things that I feel like getting out on paper. Then when everything gets better, I get to burn them! That's the only part that makes me some what happy now. *shrug* Oh well, life goes on right. Well, for some, life goes on.

I miss my grandmother. I miss Josh. That's all there is to it. It's hard to lose the ones you love. Again, I beleive that whatever idiot coined the phrase "Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all." was just that, an idiot. I guess that would pertain more to romantic love than anything. But still, they were an idiot. Who ever coined the phrase "Life's a bitch and then you die." hit the nail on the head. That's actually how I truely feel about life, well right now anyway. Before I was happy that I actually had a life or what not. Whatever pathetic thing you could call my life.

Alright, my rant is over. Not like anyone really read it. *shrug* I'm going to try to take my mind off somethings. AJ also said something about some pill that could help me sleep but I would be knocked out for 10+ hours. Dan also mentioned something about an herbal pill that I could take, that would do the same. I thought about checking into that. I never really could get to sleep after my grandmother passed. Josh helped with that and now he doesn't want to anymore. *sigh* Sometimes I just feel like I'll never be good enough for anyone. I haven't been so far.

Ok, I'm done. Go about your busy little lives.

Life ain't always beautiful...

2006-12-22T20:09:46Z

Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life aint always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time

CHORUS
No, life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

Life aint always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time

No, life aint always beautiful
But i know i'll be fine
Hey, life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

How I've felt...

2006-12-22T20:00:54Z

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you...
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you...
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing..

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you...you...
Because of you...you...

Scientific proof that Santa and flying reindeer don't exist...

2006-12-18T06:09:47Z

Thanks Jay for the most interesting read of the Christmas season...

Steven Hawking: "No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds an interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (2 lbs), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them. Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafining sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached his fifth stop. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 mps in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas!"

p_ducky @ 2006-12-07T01:12:00

2006-12-07T06:12:25Z

Just an FYI for all of those out there.

My grandmother passed away earlier this afternoon.

This is going to be a long and not very pleasent year.

There are no specific plans for the funeral arrangements yet, all I know is that the showing will be on Sunday night and the funeral itself will be on Monday morning.

Place:
Sunset Memorial Park
6265 Columbia Road - P.O. Box 729
North Olmsted, Ohio 44070

Showing: Sunday, December 10 @ 3 - 7 pm
Funeral Service: Monday, December 11 @ 10 am

If you'd like to show up, fantastic. I'm not expecting any one, kind of like when my grandfather passed away.

If you'd like more information, gimme a call.

Woooooo!

2006-12-04T19:19:38Z

Yeah, I'm a loser ... go ahead, say it.

2006-11-14T00:46:11Z

So today I hurt my little pinky knuckle. Don't know how though. I think it's possibly broken. It hurts bad when I have to move it certain ways. I don't really recall doing anything that would have hurt it though. Oh well...

I was bored and I took this quiz :) Thanks Kara!

<table border='0' cellpadding='5' cellspacing='0' width='600'><tr><td><img src="http://images.quizfarm.com/1121741622Iceman.jpg"></td><td> You scored as <b>Iceman</b>. Iceman is a very powerful but volitile X-man. His ego and reluctance to follow orders means that he often clashes with Cyclops. Despite being immature sometimes, he's very popular with the ladies and is an extremely powerful X-Man. Powers: Can lower the temperature in areas around him. Basically, he has a near limitless ability to freeze things and make massive amounts of ice.<br><br><table border='0' width='300' cellspacing='0' cellpadding='0'><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Iceman</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='90' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>90%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Wolverine</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='85' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>85%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Rogue</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='80' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>80%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Storm</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='70' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>70%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Emma Frost</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='70' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>70%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Colossus</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='70' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>70%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Jean Grey</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='60' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>60%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Cyclops</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='55' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>55%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Beast</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='55' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>55%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Gambit</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='55' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>55%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face='Arial' size='1'>Nightcrawler</font></p></td><td><table border='1' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='50' bgcolor='#dddddd'><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face='Arial' size='1'>50%</font></td></tr></td></tr></table><br><a href='http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=37497'>Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0</a><br><font face='Arial' size='1'>created with <a href='http://quizfarm.com'>QuizFarm.com</a></font></table>

p_ducky @ 2006-11-06T20:00:00

2006-11-07T01:00:04Z

I think it's funny that the one person in the world you know that will make you feel better, is always the first person to make you feel like crap...

I was going through my old messages in my inbox and I came across this one that Josh sent me... Needless to say, it's a bunch of bullshit but I still think it's cute...

"I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I’ll get your medicine when your jaw aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I’ll miss you
I’ll kiss you :-*
Give you my coat when you are cold

I’ll need you
I’ll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you’ve had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
All I wanna do is grow old with you"

p_ducky @ 2006-10-24T18:23:00

2006-10-24T22:26:31Z

Ugh, I can't fucking win.

This doesn't seem to be fucking getting better.

If I have to replace my fucking phone one more fucking time, I'm going to shoot someone in their ass. God damn, Verion and LG suck major fucking donkey ass.

Ugh, so tomorrow, after work, I'll have to go replace my phone and stand in line forever and a day and hopefully I'll get a free phone. If not, I'm cancelling my fucking account with them after the contracts up and going with another company and phone company. This sucks donkey balls.

Now it's time for work. Ugh! Today can't get any fucking better.

*sadness*

p_ducky @ 2006-10-23T01:53:00

2006-10-23T06:02:05Z

So incase anyone cared. My weekend was actually better than I thought it would have been.

Went to Mansfield with <3 Josh <3. I GOT TO TOUCH A VAMPIRE! He ended up out running that cop. *sigh* Got to Mansfield about 6:30pm ish and were one of the first 20 people in line to enter the prison. Then we got bumped up to the first 10! Exciting! Got to go with another couple, older. They were there the night before. It was so much fun, I recommend it. Half way through there was a 'Decision' to make. Either the Vampires pathway (Right) or the Demons pathway (left). I wanted to go Demons but I was out numbered. So we went Vampires. I got to TOUCH one! Scared another one. Lol, that was funny. Uh, got outta Mansfield by about 8. Got back into Cuyahoga County and decided that we still had time to go out and actually accumulate all the DVD's that we wanted. Ran about to N. Royalton Blockbuster, then to Broadview Blockbuster, then out to Macedonia Blockbuster. Finally we got all the Exorcist movies that we wanted to watch. We got Emily Rose in the mail so we watched that when we got back to Josh's place. :-D Ended up going to bed at about 1:30 in the morning.

Great night.

Finally woke up at about 12:30ish and jumped in the shower and we started watching the entire Exorcist collection. I would have to say I liked III the best. It was just a great day.

*end of story*

p_ducky @ 2006-10-21T00:33:00

2006-10-21T04:41:45Z

Why the fuck does it matter? I'm just going to fucking post this her. I can't fucking believe him. Here's the story:

Josh went to a work halloween party tonight and said he would only be there a few hours, until midnight, and would be coming home around that time to work on his cheat sheet for our Physics test tomorrow morning and get some sleep because he's been exhausted all week. (I don't care that he went to a work halloween party. That doesn't bother me. As long as he's not doing anyone else, that's fine.) Well, he just called me, drunk as a fucking skunk, and said that he would be leaving when he felt he was good enough to drive. He got to the party at about 9 and was working on his 6th beer when he called me at 11:45. We're supposed to be going to Mansfield tomorrow and he said that he would be grumpy because he hasn't been getting much sleep and I figured that I meant enough to him that he would come home and get some sleep tonight so that he's not so tired tomorrow when we go down. So do I have the right to be at least a little pissed?

I feel that I have a slight right to be pissy or upset. I just can't fucking believe that he would go out and drink tonight, knowing that we have a fucking test in the morning and that he fucking needs sleep. Now, I wouldn't have minded a few beers or whatever but 6?! Now, that's just over the line. This is going to take a while to get over. I don't think I can sleep this one off. I will definatly still be upset about this one in the morning and probably well into the afternoon. On fucking top of that, tomorrow is Sweetest Day. Yes, stupid man made holiday by the Hallmark company to sell more cards but still, it's a cute holiday and I wouldn have been just fucking happy spending it with Josh and being in a good mood, now it's fucking ruined. God damn. *sigh* Oh well, he's a boy right. Boys will be boys, and more than likely still think with their penis. So only god knows who he's feeling up right now and I really don't want to know.

*end*

p_ducky @ 2006-10-15T20:37:00

2006-10-16T00:56:51Z

Ok, so update. No broken nose :-D I'm happy about that. Although my mother said that it looks a bit swollen and really purple. I, on the other hand, don't see the swelling. But then again I do see my nose everyday... *shrug*

Work was alright today. Cleveland Philharmonic Orchesta *ech* Everyone of my friends knows how much I really do like classical music. I would have to say that they did a great job and made me want to actually play again. :( *sigh* I miss my bando days...

*snaps back to reality*

Anyways, tomorrow's going to be an easy day. Hopefully. Work 12 - 5, hopefully I won't get hurt. It seems that lately I've been getting hurt at work and/or permanently coloured... Meh.

After work I'll go home and shower so I don't stink :) and then hop on over to Josh's to help him make Rice Krispies Treats. :-D And possibly watch Frailty? Maybe. If he gets it tomorrow, although we really should be doing Physics, er, I should be doing Physics and he should be doing his other homework. Somehow, we have to finish chapter 5 questions and do chapter 6 questions and make a cheat sheet before Saturday's quiz... Oh, and complete our Lab Report. I'll probably put together the lab report and email it to him again this week that way that's one less thing he has to worry about. *shrug* There's not really much I have to do this week. Mostly work and that's about it. I have my obituary written for Tuesday. I don't remember if I have to write the famous person's obituary by tuesday or thursday. I think it's Thursday. Hopefully it's thursday. I'm going to write Johnny Cash's obituary. :-D I'm excited about that.

I think I've found my new favorite band for now.

I <3 Blue October. :-D Their 'Foiled' CD is great. Except for the heavier stuff. I love their ballads though. Loving the lyrics too. Sadly, they remind me of myself, just slightly. :(

"I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
(god I've reached the top)
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more
(go go go go)" ~Blue October "Sound of pulling heaven down"

"I might crumble, I might take a fall again. (Still missing you.)
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I might crumble, I might take a fall again
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home
I just want to know that you'll be coming home"
~ Blue October "Everlasting Friend"

"I can't believe this is happening to me.
I raised my hand as if to show you that I was yours
That I was so yours for the taking
I'm so yours for the taking
Thats when I felt the wind pick up
I grabbed the rail while choking up
These words to say and then you kissed me...
I knew it from the start
My arms are open wide
And your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep"
~Blue October "18th Floor Balcony"

Ugh, life from hell...

2006-10-11T22:07:54Z

So far the last few months have been a living hell. I don't know if I'm just saying that because of the fact that my face hurts right now or if it's really true.

I've numerous bills to pay by November. I need another job. I've been applying all over the place and noone seems to want to hire me. I thought this problem was only when one was trying to break into the field. But I guess it goes for those also trying to earn a supplimental income. *ugh*

I was clocked in the face today at work. I guess it was my own stupid fault because I left the roll of gaff tape on top of the 8' ladder as I moved it 3". It didn't happened the 6543 other times I moved the ladder with the tape up there, it just happened this ONCE. ONE FUCKING TIME! *rolls eyes* I might have a broken nose. My face hurts like fucking hell. I had a sudden lapse of memory. I couldn't remember words and I can't remember how to spell things right now. I couldn't remember what certain things were called and it started to scare me. I need to be icing my nose but alas, I am writing here. Shows you what's more important for me.

The rest of this month is going to be more of a living hell due to what my schedule is starting to look like. Josh just told me earlier that I don't make time for him. *sigh* I don't see what would bring about this statement due to the fact that the only things I do are work, class and him. I rarely ever sleep anymore because I don't really have the time. He's the only one of my friends that I actually see almost everyday. *blinks* Ow, that hurts.

Ok, back to the rest of this month. Tomorrow I have class (2-3:15 [God do I hope that obituary isn't due, I do know, however, that we do have a test]) and work(5-930). Friday I work all day (12 - 11). Somewhere inbetween all this mayhem I have to get to Josh's and do some Physics problems so I know what I'm doing. Saturday I've got class (9-3) and a baby shower to attend (3-8) and possibly watching a movie with Josh afterwards unless he wants to do it tonight or tomorrow. Sunday I work (11:30 - 6:30 [hopefully we'll get out earlier than that, it's just Cleveland Philharmonic Orchestra.]) and I have to pick up my pay check, deposit it in the bank, somehow get gas and then head down to Streetsboro to go see the new house and the kids. Monday is back to whatever I do on Monday, usually just work 12 - 5. Then it's probably off to see Josh at 8:30pm. Tuesday I've just got class and probably Josh again at 8:30. Wednesday I work all day (12 - 9:30). Thursday I have class (2 - 3:15) and work at night (7 - 9:30). Friday I work (12 - 5)maybe spending the night at Josh's. Satuday I have class again and we have a test, then Josh bought us tickets for the Mansfield Reformatory so hopefully we're going there. Sunday... Well, that's as far as I can remember right now.

My brain hurts :(

I think I'm going to go lie down and ice my face so it stops swelling...

*ugh*

Lyrics!

2006-10-06T18:03:56Z

Blue October "Hate me"
Mother: Hi Justin! This is your mother it is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication too. You know I love ya. Take care honey, I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye Bye!

(Verse 1)
I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don't loose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all thew things I didn't do for you
Hate me in way, yeah in ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

(Verse 2)
I'm sober now for 3 whole months, it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing that I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I'll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

(Verse 3)
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling make it go away,
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered "How could you do this to me?"

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

Children: If you're sleeping, are you dreaming, if you're dreaming are you dreaming of me. I can't believe YOU ACTUALLY MISS ME....

Girl: Hey Justin! x12+

Evans Blue "Cold"
hello, I'm your martyr, will you be my gangster
can you feel my trigger hand, moving further down your neck
when you hide, hide inside that body
but just remember that when I touch you
the more you shake, the more you give away

cold, but I'm still here, blind, ‘cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we’re far from obvious this time

wait, another minute here, time will kill us after all
now can you feel its second hand wrapped around your neck
so fall into my eyes and fall into my lies
but don’t you forget
the more you turn away, the more I want you to stay

cold, but I'm still here, blind, ‘cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we’re far from obvious this time

you’re so endearing, you’re so beautiful,
well I don’t look like they do, and I don’t love like they do
but I don’t hate like they do
am I ever on your mind?

cold, but I'm still here, blind, ‘cause I'm so blind, say never
we're far from comfortable this time
cold, now we're so cold, mine, and you're not mine, say never
we’re far from obvious this time

COLD, you broke me from the very first night
I'd love you ‘til the day that I die
I'm far too comfortable this time
COLD, I loved you from the very first night
you broke me ‘til the day that I die
I'm far too obvious this time

p_ducky @ 2006-09-28T17:56:00

2006-09-28T22:01:44Z

So, uh, yeah. I went to Verizon today to go see if I could get my downloads back because I had to replace my phone. The fucker told me that the only thing that can be credited is anything that I've downloaded within the past 90 days. That means I only get ONE fucking song back. Mother fucker. Damn it, I'm pissed.

That means I can only download Josh's ringtone that I ended up downloading a few months ago. I have to pay for any other download that I want. I think I'm going to go talk to them because the bill only shows two songs that I downloaded and I know I had five on my phone. I had downloaded/bought a 'discount' package for $9.99 for 4 songs. (The songs are typically $2.99 each) So it doesn't really tell me which songs I downloaded and when. I have to go back and talk to them.

Damn it.